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Even though intellectually I knew it wasn’t true, but emotionally [I was] blaming myself for not meeting a seemingly objective standard of what is attractive.” MC Maltempo, a 36-year-old Korean American who grew up in Golden, Colo., also met his significant other online.He first joined in 2006, but only started using it seriously in 2013.
“I think there was a long time where I felt ashamed, ashamed or self-conscious, or attributing me being single to the fact that I don’t have these qualities and I need to have these qualities in order to attract people.
This alleviated the feeling of being overwhelmed and helped him get to know the person he was interested in.
Maltempo compared this approach to meeting people at a mixer, where you can gauge your chemistry with only one person at a time.
When he signed up for Ok Cupid in 2013, he was in Singapore but began using it more frequently when he moved to Portland, Ore., the following year.
It was around then that he saw Ok Cupid’s data on race and attraction.
“Even if you give them a little bit of room in terms of looks, that still leaves a really high bar for Asian men to be considered attractive at all.” To improve his success rate on Match.com, Maltempo created a rule for himself.