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It was time to have ‘the talk.’ He brought up the subject casually at first, wondering if he could start introducing me as his girlfriend.

I fidgeted and gave him some story about how I didn’t like to use labels and the topic was dropped.

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We had been seeing each other for a little over a month when I sensed that my grace period was over.

My relationships at that point would go something like this: we would meet, there would be a spark, we’d hang out a few times, after a few weeks I would freak out and feel trapped and suffocated, I would then lose all interest in the relationship and would do whatever I could to sabotage it.

I felt guilty but also kind of alarmed at my inability to feel anything.

Eventually, I softened and started to warm up to the possibility of being in a relationship. He was really cute, really sweet, had a good job, and seemed pretty much perfect for me.

I liked him a lot at first, well a lot in relation to how much I was capable of liking anyone at that point which wasn’t really that much.

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