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Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign..action_button.action_button:active.action_button:hover.action_button:focus.action_button:hover.action_button:focus .count.action_button:hover .count.action_button:focus .count:before.action_button:hover .count:before.u-margin-top--lg.u-margin-left--sm.u-flex.u-flex-auto.u-flex-none.bullet. Content Wrapper:after.hidden.normal.grid_page.grid_page:before,.grid_page:after.grid_page:after.grid_page h3.grid_page h3 a.grid_page h3 a:hover.grid_page h3 a.action_button.grid_page h3 a.action_button:active.grid_page h3 a.action_button:hover.grid_page h3 a.action_button:not(.fake_disabled):hover.grid_page h3 a.action_button:not(.fake_disabled):focus.grid_pagediv. When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.
At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.
Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.
You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.
A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.
When this happens frequently, it can lead to a reduction in their sex-life together, a growing sense of disconnection and an erosion of the marital bond.